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About Deviant Carol FrancisFemale/Spain Group :iconphoto-manipink: Photo-ManiPink
Blow up the pink !
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Deviant for 6 Years
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Statistics 557 Deviations 8,973 Comments 38,951 Pageviews
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Our Little Secret by SpyderGenie

Ok.... I am going to try to write my first ever critique here :fingerscrossed: Firstly, I love your choice of stock - it all goes together very well. ...

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You Took A Piece of Me by cazcastalla
You Took A Piece of Me
This is my entry for the Withering Contest at :iconstewed-tomatoes: at beginner level

Very meaningful for me right now.

Required Stock:
Rose from :iconnexu4: Link
Leaf from :iconblack-b-o-x: Link

Other Stock:
Models from :iconeirian-stock: Link and Link
Stone Bench from :icongrannysatticstock: Link
Graveyard from :icondark-dragon-stock: Link
Fog from :iconmoonchild-ljilja: Link
Autumn Texture from :iconangiwallace: Link
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Princess in Waiting by cazcastalla
Princess in Waiting
This is my entry for 'The Lady in the Window' challenge at :iconmanipulatethis: at beginner level

Please give me any and all critique - but please also be gentle with me... I have not done anything much for almost a year, so find it all pretty difficult again ;)

Required Stock:
Fairytale Princess 3 from :iconmizzd-stock: Link

Other Stock:
Background from :iconprints-of-stock: Link

Window from :iconmalleni-stock: Link

Castle from :iconmango-stock: Link

Chest from :iconthy-darkest-hour: Link

Books from :iconiquitcountingstock: Link

Camera from :iconisostock: Link

Pendant from :iconmithgariel-stock: Link

Texture from :iconsolstock: Link
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Christmas pngs - 2016 by cazcastalla
Christmas pngs - 2016
A set of 4 'Merry Christmas' pngs. You can use them however and wherever you wish - you do not need to notify me, although it is always nice to see what people do with my stuff - and if you can use them to make money... please do, and good luck! I only ask that you don't offer them or sell them anywhere else just as I offer them here - thank you.
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It can be a lonely road to travel, even when people are constantly around you.

It is hard for others to understand how I feel, and hard for me to know how I should feel.

Guilt seems to be the over-riding emotion – guilt tinges everything I did and am doing.

I wonder if I did the best I could – I can pinpoint instances that I maybe didn't do right.

I wonder if people are looking down on me or thinking I am cold because I am not 'broken'.

Yes, I have suffered the loss of both parents in an incredibly short space of time -

Should I be in a heap on the floor, inconsolable, in bits?

Should I be the strong person that I appear to be – nonetheless, wanting to repeat myself constantly?

Should I just repeat myself even though I know I am doing it? And should I keep apologising for it?

There seems to be no guidelines for bereavement – we are expected to deal with it 'the best way for ourselves'.

Am I supposed to be comforted by 'at least they are together' comments?

Am I supposed to burst into floods of tears when someone says 'sorry for your loss'?

Is it wrong to feel the best comments are 'I don't know what to say' – because that seems to be the heartfelt truth?

I travelled the journey of end-of-life cancer with my mother – a distressing trip, relieved by death.

Then I watched my father lose his mind completely, also relieved by death.

Why should I feel anything other than relief – not that they are together, but that neither of them are suffering?

If I felt I wanted them still alive, I think it would be a selfish wish – it would not be for them, but for me.

Do I miss my parents?

Every single day.

Do I think about them?

Every single minute.

Do I want them back?

Not at all if suffering was to be their fate.

Do I regret anything?

Of course I do, and I live with guilt that I hope will fade in time.

Do I need the love and understanding of others?

I'd like to think not – but I know that wouldn't be true... I need the love and caring, the understanding is an exclusive club whose members are myself and my two siblings.

I had my parents for 56 years, and for that I am grateful and know I am among the lucky ones.

Grief is handled in many different ways, and the expectation of others is often the yardstick on how grief 'should' be handled – I am not handling it in the expected way, but people should not think it isn't there, because it is, it is all consuming in its own way, but for me it is an inward rather than outward emotion, but really not bottled up. I will suddenly start talking about my parents – both their lives and their deaths – good friends listen and say nothing – that is the best kind of friend.

My parents deserve their lives to be celebrated – we have mourned their deaths, now we try to remember the good times and bring back the wonderful memories they gave us.

Just a Little Fracture...

Journal Entry: Fri Sep 27, 2013, 8:19 AM
I know some of my watchers have known about the problems I have had with my wrist/hand since I had a fall 3 months ago... I finally got my entitlement to free healthcare here in Spain, and was referred to the hospital today.

It transpires that I fractured my hand, which has now healed and I now need physiotherapy to get movement back in my wrist - I am assured I will never get it back to full mobility, but to be honest, just getting rid of the pain would help!!!

The consultant was stunned that I have suffered through this with no consultation, treatment or medication - he now thinks I am some kind of super-woman hahaha!

So, that's where we're at right now... Monday morning I have to return to the consultant to be referred for physiotherapy, and I think it will be a long haul from there!!


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cazcastalla's Profile Picture
cazcastalla
Carol Francis
Spain
I am an avid Blogger and Photoshop/Artist wannabe!
You can find my blog at www.graphix1.co.uk
You can follow me on Twitter: @graphicstuts

Current Residence: Spain
Favourite genre of music: Soul
Operating System: Windows
Favourite cartoon character: Snoopy
Interests

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:iconmarialoikkii:
MariaLoikkii Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello, used your gradients here, on the floor in the picture ;)
Thank's so much! marialoikkii.deviantart.com/ar…
Reply
:iconkarinclaessonart:
KarinClaessonArt Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Cake FOR Bday by KmyGraphic
Reply
:iconwanniewirny:
WannieWirny Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday to you! I hope you have a nice day with your family
Though I'm not as active on dA anymore, you're still one of my favourite people on here :D
Reply
:iconcazcastalla:
cazcastalla Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2015
Thank you so much... I also am not so active on here these days, life kind of takes over!!!
Reply
:iconthefantasim:
TheFantaSim Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015   General Artist
Hey!

Check out ManipulateThis new challenge, "Tales Of The Fae"! You have 6 weeks to get your entry in,
so don't idle! You can find the info here:
thefantasim.deviantart.com/jou…

:dance:
Reply
:iconmshellee:
mshellee Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav Carol!! :)
Reply
:iconaprillight:
AprilLight Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015
Thank you so much for faves my friend :iconrosablu:
Reply
:icondoucesse:
Doucesse Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Oh my gosh. Thanks a lot for this gift !! :tighthug:
I do not know what to say. You've been very kind, my dear! I appreciate it !! :excited:
Reply
:iconcazcastalla:
cazcastalla Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015
You're very welcome xx
Reply
:iconcathleentarawhiti:
CathleenTarawhiti Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Professional Photographer
Happy birthday Carol :party: :boogie:
Reply
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